Today is a not so bad weather day. A few days back the weather is hazy in KL. But today, at least I can see the cumulus clouds right out form my office window. I can see spots of blue (greyish-blue), color of the sky where it is not covered by clouds. I long for those days where I can see blue skies, white clouds, and sharp skyline of the buildings and sharp outlines of the mountain range that is surrounding this valley. Those days will make my day.
My blogger colleague, Hussein (of steadyaku47), post a photo of Steve Jobs, pretty frail looking, and i saw the photo in the paper today too, after his liver transplant. And the message that hussein wrote, made me stop and ponder again. I have been giving serious thought about the fragility of life many many moons back. And I have been telling my wife to think about it no matter how busy she can be. The phrase - stop and smell the rose - is easier said, for some people, than done. For me, I try, no matter how busy I am, to spare some minutes or seconds looking out the window, thinking about the kids, my wife, my mom and dad, my brothers, my niece and nephews, my uncle and my aunt, my friends, my colleagues, and my achievements (sometimes, not much to speak of anyway).
I have an uncle (we call him "big uncle" because he is the eldest). He has 2 sons. His younger son died a few months back because of heart failure, he was 47. His elder son is in a coma since last week due to an auto accident. He was ran down by a kancil right in front of his house while walking to buy fruits across the street. I hope he will make it through.
I have a friend, a former colleague, 36 this year with 2 kids, diagnose with Multiple Sclerosis, no cure, and right now, made a turn for worse couple of days ago, in coma in a hospital in Johor Bahru. He was transferrd from a Singapore Hospital after a stem cell transplant. But it did not turn out good, and the hospital fee got too steep and he has to be transferred back to JB. Sad eh?
I lost my grandma a few months back. She was 100. Old. I am still in denial mode just a few months back, but nevertheless I have learned to accept it nevertheless it is still sad. I love her very much.
Such is the fragility of life. That's why I don;t want to slug after 45. I want out of the rat race and I will strive to do that. I will and I will need to do that because I am not sure if I will be around after 50, heck I am not sure I will be around tomorrow. So finding the balance is important.
Every morning when I wake up, the kids are there waiting for me to pounce on them and grab them and give them a peck or a bite or a big bear hug and all hell will break loose. My wife will be half awake or half asleep and the little one will still be beside my wife - breastfeeding, with an eye looking at me with a smirk on her little clean face. Ah.....this is life. I want it to last, forever, if possible.
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